What I Want for Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day, forget the flowers, the chocolates, the fancy dinners or the lingerie. Forget the grand gestures. Forgo the typical.

This Valentine’s Day, I want something different, something that takes a lot more effort and most importantly a daily choice.

This Valentine’s Day I want you to love me. Not in the way they do in fairytales or romantic comedies. Not with words. Not with promises. No, none of the stuff we’ve been brought up to think is love. Leave the disguises and the icing at home. I want the real stuff. Raw, true, adult love.

You can’t buy this kind of love. And even if you tried, no amount of decoration or fancy wrapping can create it.

This Valentine’s Day I want you to show up when you say you will. I want you to follow through on the commitments you make. I want you to listen when I feel the need to express myself and not try to fix me or stop me when I cry.

This Valentine’s Day I want you to be honest with me and tell me the truth even when it’s easier to not. I want you to remember to appreciate the everyday, and not take our relationship for granted. Because sometimes it won’t feel warm and fuzzy. But no matter your mood du jour, you choose to honor your commitment and devotion even during dark days.

This Valentine’s Day, I want you to act with integrity and compassion, and remember to use your values compass to guide you when making life’s hard decisions. And when temptation or an easier path presents itself, I want you to choose the harder road of courage rather than the easier road of escapism.

This may seem like a lot to ask, but these are the everyday things that count – and they don’t come with any fancy ribbon or wrapping. No, they come exactly as they are – and show what really matters on Valentine’s Day.


Real, true, love. Love, which is an action, a commitment – a choice you make every single day. And if that’s what Valentine’s Day is here to remind us of, then heck, I want Valentine’s Day to be everyday.

Photo credit: JoyHey


  • Avatar
    Reply February 14, 2012


    love this. you inspire me.

    those words, thank you.

  • […] “What I Want for Valentine’s Day” by Amy Chan @amyfabulous on twitter […]

  • Avatar
    Reply February 14, 2012


    Young men are slow to realize what they are supposed to do. They have no instincts that tell them. That is why they disappoint us so often. They take a lot of teaching, and they learn by watching our actions. Life really isn’t about you, it’s really about him. If you show him it’s about him, he’ll eventually make it about you. It takes a long time for them to learn what we as women know instinctively. Older men are much better husbands because by that time they have learned how to make a woman happy.

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