Everyday, I can’t tell you how many countless emails I receive asking me about my favorite book recommendations on all things romance. Now more than ever, people want an education. They are no longer interested in dating without a plan haphazardly. They want to approach dating thoughtfully and learn how to authentically put their best food forward in love. Unfortunately, the market for relationship books are over-saturated with bad advice, too many rules and an unfamiliarity with today’s dating climate.
I wanted to create a curated list for all of you out there; the dreamers, the hopeful and the lovers wanting to read something with a little more magic in it. After careful consideration, I have hand-selected my favorite well-worn reads. These reads are constant mainstays on my nightstand table and have been lovingly dog-eared to exhaustion. There’s timeless wisdom dispensed between these pages for singles and couples alike. I hope these books teach you what they taught me. For more information, click on the books below.
From me to you–all the love,
xx Amy Chan
one. Mating in Captivity written by Esther Perel
Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Esther Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and live discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. A must read for any couple looking to spice up the relationship: mentally and physically.
You are not doomed by your genes and hardwired to be a certain way for the rest of your life. Dr. Joe Dispenza believes that new science is emerging that empowers all human beings to create the reality they choose. This book will provide you with knowledge to change any aspect of yourself with step-by-step tools to make measurable changes. A great read for those who are ready to radically change their life for the better.
three. Mind Hacking: How to Change your Mind for Good in 21 Days written by Sir John Hargrave
The author, Sir John Hargrave, once suffered from unhealthy addictions, anxiety, and poor mental health so he GETS it. After cracking the code to unlocking his mind’s full and balanced potential, his entire life changed for the better. Learn to take charge of your mind and banish negative thoughts, habits, and anxiety–in 21 days. A great read for those who kick complacency’s ass on a daily basis.
four. Why Him, Why Her? written by Helen Fisher
Are you a negotiator/explorer dating a builder/explorer? Find out what that means with this insightful book. Helen Fisher can often tell, almost instantly, the hidden strengths and weaknesses in a relationship that are likely to keep a couple together or pull them apart. This national bestseller shows you how a better understanding of who you are will help you find and keep the love you want. If you want to decode your partner, pick up this ASAP.
five. Attached by Amir Levine
We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist, Dr. Amir Levine thinks so and he categorizes them in secure, insecure and avoidant attachment styles. Read this book to find out how to find and sustain love.
six. The Charisma Myth written by Olivia Fox Cabane
So many people believe that charisma is a fundamental, inborn quality–you either have it or you don’t. But that’s simply not true, as Olivia Fox Cabana reveals. Charismatic behaviors can be learned and perfected by anyone. Check out this book to see how people like Bill Clinton, Steve Jobs and Oprah have perfected the science of personal magnetism.
seven. Decoding Love: Why It Takes Twelve Frogs to Find a Prince written by Andrew Trees
This book takes on a topic we all think we understand-how we fall in love-and illustrates that most of our assumptions are wrong. This book offers new insights into the nature of attraction, desire, and an intimate look in the modern world of dating. Read this book to get hope after the third bad Tinder date you’ve had this week.
eight. The Science of Happily Ever After written by Ty Tashiro
Dr. Tashiro has discovered that if you want a lifetime of happiness, not togetherness, it all comes down to how you choose a partner in the first place. With wit and insight, he explains the science behind finding a soul mate. With an easy readability and real-life couple examples, this book offers an accessible framework to help singles find their happily ever afters.
nine. The Chemistry Between Us by Larry Young PhD and Brian Alexander
Physical attraction, jealousy and infidelity are being demystified thanks to today’s social neuroscience. Larry Young, one of the world’s leading experts in the field, and journalist Brian Alexander will help you understand why love is an addiction, why we can’t resist temptation and more. Check this out for a thought-provoking read.
ten. The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine
While doing research as a medical student at Yale and then as a resident and faculty member at Harvard, Louann Brizendine discovered that almost all of the clinical data in experience on neurology, psychology and neurobiology focused exclusively on males. In response to the overwhelming need for information on the female brain, she established the first clinic in the country to study women’s brain functions. She will explain questions like why women can remember details of fights that men can’t remember and women form deeper bonds with their friends then men do. Check out this delightful analysis that intimately peeks inside the brain of the female gender.
eleven. The Male Brain by Louann Brizendine
Not wanting to leave the men out, Louann Brizendine turns her attention to the male brain, showing how, through every phase in life, the “male” reality is fundamentally different than the female one.
twelve. Sex at Dawn written by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha
A controversial, idea-driven book that challenges everything we (think we) know about sex, monogamy, marriage and family. This book dives into why we mate, why we stray and what this means for today’s relationship. A fascinating read into the evolution of why relationships are the way they are today.
thirteen. Moral Animal by Robert Wright
If you’ve ever asked yourself if men are born to cheap or if monogamy is for you, take a look at this provocative science book. Robert Wright unveils the genetic strategic behind our sexual preference to our office politics. This book is applicable in a personal and professional context.
fourteen. 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
If you haven’t asked your partner what fills up his/her love tank, drop everything you are doing and pick up this book now. Take the couple’s personal profile assessment (located inside of the book) to discover your love language and that of your loved ones. Incredibly insightful and guaranteed to level up your romantic connection.