Name: D.J. Lampitt
When did you know you were gay?
I always knew, but didn’t know if it was a phase. I dated women, but it never felt right.
How was the process of coming out for you?
Society says you have to be straight and have a typical life. This can make it hard to go against society’s rules and standards. But when you do come out, you understand that there is a vast variety of people and different relationship models that work. You realize that it’s OK to feel how you feel. We build a fear of people judging us. The process is never easy. When you are truly authentic with yourself things come together in your universe. You live in the present, you live in the now. The more supportive we are of each other the more we can overcome these struggles.
How do you deal with the judgment of others?
You have to live your life for yourself. When you live based on what people say and what they want, you are not authentic. Those who place judgment on your life may not necessarily be the ones you want in your life. They may be imposing or projecting their issues on to you.
What would be your advice with someone struggling to come out
Put yourself in a place where you are comfortable. Surround yourself with people who support you. That’s what helps you overcome the fear. Life does get better and you relieve a lot of pressure on yourself when you can start being ‘you.’ Everyone has their time. Take as long as you want or as little as you want. But know that there are people who support you no matter what.
What do you look for in a partner?
Connection is key — someone who is spiritual and shares the same values. Someone who is willing to evolve and grow and embrace that we are on a journey together.
What are your thoughts on dating in Vancouver?
Too many people hide behind a computer screen or a mobile app. While social media can help break down a barrier and start a conversation, many have lost the art of courtship.
Any advice on relationships?
You cannot look to others for someone to complete you. You are the one that completes yourself.
What are your thoughts on monogamy?
I am a firm believer that a relationship is between two people. When you cheat you are avoiding the actual issue. Rather than put in the work to deal with the situation, you escape by chasing the thrill and adrenaline rush of infidelity.
Last words of wisdom?
Understand that not everything is meant to be forever.
Photo credit: Sean O’Grady