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A Love at First Sight That Took 18 Years

Once Andrew Kippen and I met our relationship unfolded very fast.

It was a love at first sight kind of story. The minute I saw him I knew, “There is my husband,” and through a series of very bold moves, a ton of courage and vulnerability we allowed ourselves to fall in love and partnership very quickly.

We met on a Tuesday, fell in love by Friday, moved in together on Sunday, got engaged 7 months later and married almost exactly a year from the date we first met.

This is the story most people know but I want to tell you another one.

The truth is Andrew and I have been orbiting each other for over 18 years.

The truth is Andrew and I have been orbiting each other for over 18 years.

We both studied abroad at the same place in Lugano, Switzerland except he arrived exactly two weeks after I left.

A few years later we lived 4 blocks away from each other in San Francisco. We spent time at the same bars, coffee shops and grocery stores. We went to all the same little indie rock concerts. We even worked just a few blocks from each other downtown and still we never met.

Even in 2008 when he moved from SF to NYC we still were at all the same SXSWs and Burningman events and never crossed paths. A few months before we met we were even at the same house party where he was leading a meditation in one room and I was in the room next door dancing to the DJ.

I think about this often. I think about destiny, alignment and all those missed connections that could of happened with him. All the times we must of passed each other on the street/at an event/on dusty bikes in the playa and how something must of always distracted me at the right moment so I wouldn’t see him.

Andrew and I talk about what would of happened if we met back then and both of us agree. “Nothing, because we were not ready for each other yet.”

I know I was not ready to recieve the love he had to give when I was steeped in grief and putting the pieces of my heart back together after my mom passed away. I was definitely not ready for him when I felt I had to dim my light to be loved because I was afraid that if someone truly saw who I was it would blind them.

We both needed to do work, become more courageous, and prepare our hearts so we were in full integrity with who we were in the world before we could bring each other in.

It took us finally learning to believe and see ourselves as whole people who were happy alone that allowed the other one to come into view. So yes, we met, fell in love, and got married but it was a long process that got us there.

Nyla and Andrew are both entrepreneurs who live in Brooklyn, New York.

 

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