Name: Christie Lohr, Founder of StyleNinetoFive.com and BeautyNinetoFive.com
When you imagine your future partner, what does he look like?
He is someone I laugh with everyday. He is supportive of my career path. He’s committed – and when the times get tough he doesn’t give up. He is someone who protects my heart because no matter what you’re upset about, you should be able to communicate that with your guy.
What did you learn from your last relationship?
That it’s not all about me. For example, if my boyfriend was being distant I would automatically assume that there was something wrong because of me, when really it was simply because he had a bad day at work. I’ve learned to not take things personal. Second, sometimes you need to take a step out of a situation to appreciate each other again and remember why you fell in love. As soon as you stop seeing them for who they are then it’s time to re-evaluate things. Lastly, I learned to nurture my partner’s interests and needs. Respecting your partner’s independence is key.
What makes a healthy relationship?
Compromise. Being able to work as a team. Being each other’s No. 1 fan. Letting them be who they are and never trying to change them.
What harms a relationship?
Our minds can often create the worst possible situation. I’ve learned to never assume. Often you’ll find that if you talk it out with your partner you realize that your perception of something is completely false.
What have you learned about getting through heartbreak?
My last breakup was hard. I always believed in us. Not working it out just wasn’t a part of my thought process. In the healing process there were different stages. At first, it felt like I was grieving a death. Then that feeling of loss turned into anger. Eventually, after working on myself, I got to a place of acceptance and forgiveness. I made a conscious decision to not think about the negative moments. Now when I look back, I choose to remember the good things.
If you were to give advice to your younger self, what would it be?
After my relationship of six and a half years ended, the process of starting over again scared me. But I truly believe that the universe knows what is best for us and will present the right person to us when we are ready. Everything turns out the way it’s supposed to be – have faith in that.
Any last words of wisdom?
When it doesn’t work out with someone, stop yourself from going, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ Know how amazing you are. Whatever they are going through is about them – not you. All you can do is know you’ve given your 100% and whatever happens is out of your hands.
